As school leaders, we pour our hearts and minds into our work to ensure that our schools are places where students thrive, educators feel supported, and communities are strengthened. However, as the demands of leadership grow, it’s easy to become consumed by the urgent needs of our schools, leaving little room for reflection or presence with the people who matter most in our personal lives—our families.
Last summer, I made a deliberate choice to change that. I committed to setting aside more time for my children, unplugging from work, and focusing on quality moments together. Surprisingly, one of the simplest activities—drawing pictures with my kids—became a powerful reminder of lessons we can carry with us into our work as leaders.
5 Leadership Lessons
As I spent time drawing with my seven- and five-year-olds, I realized that the experience was teaching me valuable lessons that could help me as a leader in education, and, importantly, as a role model for the social-emotional learning of my students and staff. Here are the insights that stood out to me, and I hope they’ll resonate with you as well.
1. Perfection Is the Enemy of Progress
When my kids sit down to draw, their best work isn’t the one with the most perfect lines or flawless details. The drawings they’re most proud of are the ones they finish, even if the lines aren’t straight or the colors don’t perfectly match the image in their mind.
As educators and leaders, we often feel the pressure to make everything perfect—lesson plans, student assessments, or even the way we lead our teams. But perfectionism can hold us back, leading to burnout, stifling our creativity, and preventing us from moving forward. As leaders, our most significant progress comes from action, completion, and learning along the way. It’s essential to model this mindset for our students and staff—progress is more important than perfection. This attitude can foster a culture of continuous learning and resilience within our schools.
2. Frustration Is Part of the Process
My daughter is a bit of a perfectionist. She wants every detail to be perfect. And that can make the whole idea of drawing to relax a bit stressful sometimes.
Say, for example, she colors outside the lines, or makes a mistake, she can feel frustrated. In these situations, she puts the sketchbook down and gets her badminton racket out. She and her brother will hit the birdie back and forth a bit. And after a while, she returns with a fresh perspective, ready to tackle her artwork with renewed focus.
In our leadership roles, frustration is part of the job. Maybe it’s a challenging student situation, difficult decisions we must make, or even managing a crisis. How we respond to this frustration is critical to how we lead. By taking a step back, reflecting, and giving ourselves space to reframe a situation, we can model healthy coping strategies for our staff and students.
This approach to frustration is an essential element of social-emotional learning. We must create safe spaces where students and staff feel supported in managing their emotions and finding constructive solutions. Just as we encourage breaks to clear our minds, we must promote emotional resilience by modeling patience, self-regulation, and perspective-taking.
3. Plans Don’t Always Go as Expected—and That’s Okay
My son loves to draw unicorns, and when he sets out to create one, the final result rarely matches the picture in his mind. Yet, he never feels disappointed. He hums as he works, turning any mistakes into things like clouds, bushes, or trees. He enjoys choosing colors for the mane or deciding where to add small details, letting the picture change as he goes.
For him, the fun comes from the process, not just the finished drawing.
In our schools, we often plan meticulously for initiatives, programs, or academic goals, but outcomes may not always align with our expectations. And that’s okay.
We teach our students and staff that learning is not linear and that true growth comes from resilience and reflection.
Flexibility and adaptability are crucial skills for effective leadership. We can sometimes find ourselves facing problems we’ve never encountered before. COVID-19, for example, required all of us to do overnight digital transformations of our schools. We experimented with ideas. When they didn’t work, we tried other approaches.
We need to help our staff and students understand that setbacks or unexpected outcomes are part of the learning process. It’s the journey—through challenges, failures, and successes—that shapes growth. By embracing change and uncertainty as opportunities for development, we teach our students and staff that learning is not linear and that true growth comes from resilience and reflection.
4. Unplug to Be More Present
One of the reasons my family embraced drawing as a shared activity was to take a break from screens and reconnect with the present moment. This intentional practice was a powerful reminder that the best ideas and moments of connection often happen when we’re fully present—away from distractions and the constant pull of digital devices.
In our leadership roles, we need to model this digital detox for our staff and students. Technology is undoubtedly a valuable tool, but the act of being fully present—whether in a meeting, during a classroom observation, or in a personal conversation—can have a profound impact on our relationships and our ability to lead effectively.
It is so good for us to lock in some time into our daily schedule when we can step away from our phones, laptops, emails, Teams messages, and the temptation of endless scrolling on social media.
I now reserve time each evening to be fully present for my family. I put my phone away, disconnect temporarily from the internet, and give my family my full attention. Time away from screens helps us to recharge, improves our focus, and fosters deeper emotional connections with those we lead.
5. Surround Yourself with Passionate People
My children are passionate about drawing. They sketch constantly—before school, during meals, and even while walking. Their enthusiasm for this activity has been contagious. As I joined in, I found myself drawing more, and, to my surprise, improving in the process.
In the same way, we are shaped by the people we surround ourselves with at our schools. Passion can be contagious. When we collaborate with educators who are deeply passionate about their work, it can raise our own standards and ignite our passion for leadership.
A culture of passion and purpose in our schools is key to the social-emotional well being of staff and students.
Cultivating a culture of passion and purpose in our schools is key to driving not just academic success, but also the social-emotional well being of staff and students. When we, as leaders, are inspired by and engaged with those who surround us, we encourage that same enthusiasm in others—creating a learning environment that supports not only academic growth but also emotional and social development.
Prioritize Balance for Leadership Growth
It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of daily responsibilities, constantly responding to the immediate needs of our schools. But to lead effectively, we must recognize the importance of balance.
The lesson I have learned is that leadership isn’t just about institutional success. It’s also about modeling self-care, emotional intelligence, and being present for our communities.
My humble suggestion to you is that the next time you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to step back. Unplug, reflect, and perhaps engage in a simple, creative activity like drawing.
My kids have taught me that letting go of perfectionism can open the door to joy and creativity. Mistakes don’t have to derail us. They can become opportunities for growth and connection.
Our students and staff are watching us closely. The example we set in managing our own well-being, embracing imperfection, and staying passionate about what matters is as important as any academic or strategic initiative.
And finally, we won’t regret the time we spend with our families, but we may very well regret the time we don’t.
Drawing with my kids has reminded me to embrace the little moments, to find happiness in imperfection, and to focus on what truly matters. At work and at home.
The Emotionally Intelligent Educator
Ways to strengthen characteristics of emotional intelligence, including self-awareness, empathy, optimism, and teamwork.
Originally a teacher from Canada, Joshua James has spent the past 15 years dedicated to advancing k-12 and university education in Malaysia and Vietnam. He brings deep expertise and hands-on international leadership to his work with an MBA, M.Ed, and B.Ed, along with a Certificate in School Management and Leadership from Harvard Business School.
Joshua has served as the Founding Managing Director of EMASI Van Phuc International Bilingual School in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam and is a Visiting Assessor for the UK’s National Institute of Teaching and Education. As an advisory board member of Teach for Vietnam, he actively supports efforts to promote equity and quality education in underprivileged schools across Vietnam.
As the co-founder of 8-Bit Content, Joshua helps educational organizations improve their communication and online visibility.
You can connect with Joshua through his website.
