A faulty foundation is guaranteed to be compromised.
We all learned this amazing lesson in the story of the Three Little Pigs. Here is a refresher, just in case you forgot . . .
In the story, the first little pig built his home with straw and the second little pig built his house with sticks. Without much deliberation, the shared goal of the first two pigs was to rapidly build their homes with the least amount of labor as possible. This proved to be a disadvantage when they encountered “the big bad wolf” who “huffed and puffed” and, ultimately, blew their homes away.
Contrarily, the third pig built his home with bricks, a viable architectural material. This approach was indeed thoughtful and time consuming, but it was well worth it because, in the end, his house was sustainable when he had to contend with the story’s antagonist.
The first two pigs placed themselves in a compromising position because of the rush they were in to build their homes. Reflect for a moment on the foundation that you establish for your classes. Do you hasten or neglect the getting-to-know-you activities and solely focus on content coverage? Or are you like piggy number three, taking your time to lay the appropriate foundation that will have a lasting effect on your students and your class community as a whole?
Much like building a house out of bricks, the cultivation of a caring classroom community takes effort as well. It’s the work I like to consider most essential and the work of the heart.
As a teacher, my colleagues often asked me questions like “How do you get __________ [insert challenging student name here] to behave in class?” It was always natural for me to be able to command the attention of my audience and get students to follow my lead and listen to what was asked of them. Although I was very firm and sure to communicate my expectations clearly, I showed students I cared about them; that, above all else, made the difference!
Below are seven actions (along with sample responses) that can assist you in building relationships with your students on any grade level to help you maintain your “house.” It worked for me as a classroom teacher and also works for the teachers that I observe who have great relationships with their students.
1. Attend a sporting, extracurricular, or cultural event in or outside of school that supports a student.
Diana, I didn’t know you were such a talented ballerina! I almost missed it, but I’m so glad I came to the recital last night.
2. Send a positive e-mail/text message or make a phone call to a parent/guardian.
Dear Mr. Davis,
Megan has made major improvements in class. She is participating more often and submitting her work on time. I am really proud of her efforts. Have a nice day!
3. Set clear expectations and follow through. Show students that care and correction can work together simultaneously.
Jessica, I didn’t appreciate how you were behaving when the substitute was here yesterday. As a result, you will be sitting with me at lunch today. While we are sitting together for lunch detention, we will review for your quiz tomorrow.
4. Reward students for small things.
Melissa, I like how you helped Thomas with his nonlinguistic representation when he said he didn’t know what to do. You can grab something from the treasure chest before you leave class today.
5. Compliment students. Let them see that you are paying attention. This helps boost self-esteem, particularly with students who are less confident.
Ryan, your handwriting is so neat! You could probably teach me a thing or two about taking my time when writing.
6. Use student names as positive examples in word problems or short stories. This makes them feel important.
Tenesha will play the viola in the concert on Friday with Mr. Dixon.
7. Implement topics of interest to students when teaching your lessons.
Mrs. Townsend has $100. If she purchased three Beyoncé tickets, four Cold Play tickets, and three Fifth Harmony tickets and each ticket was $4.00, how much money will she have left over?
Education is a business of people before pedagogy. Those with the greatest student success stories put this in practice daily. If you spend time investing in the people in your classroom, you are sure to see a return on your investment. Think of building relationships with your students and parents as building a foundation for a home. If you begin with relationships as your prerequisite to learning, you are likely to live in that house for a long time. If you don’t, much like the first two little pigs, prepare to have your home (classroom) blown away.
To learn more about how to engage students in learning by building caring, respectful relationships with them, check out the September 2016 issue of Educational Leadership, "Relationships First."