There are a few brilliant souls to whom I often turn for guidance. Some of these individuals are present-day mentors I can call on the phone or meet with over coffee. I also connect with inspiring thought leaders I've never met through their books and writing. One is the great, late Maya Angelou, who overcame grinding poverty and abuse in her youth to become one of the most celebrated writers in the United States. Her heartful wisdom and understanding of human relationships never cease to amaze me. I recently came across an article that shared four critical questions Angelou felt we unconsciously ask each other all the time (Schafler, 2017):
- Do you see me?
- Do you care that I'm here?
- Am I enough for you, or do you need me to be better in some way?
- Can I tell that I'm special to you by the way you look at me?
These questions speak to me from a personal perspective as a new parent and a partner, underlining how critical our relationships are for cultivating a deep sense of connection. As an educator, I also immediately see how foundational these questions are to creating a sense of safety and connection in the classroom. The degree to which our students feel truly seen influences their well-being and academic engagement.
To help our students answer these four questions, we must be fully present and available for them. As teachers, the greatest gift we can offer our students is our presence and our ability to see and accept them as they are. But how can we best provide our students with the gifts of our presence and vision? One of the most powerful ways teachers can cultivate important "habits of mind," such as awareness, attention, flexibility, and intentionality, is to develop a personal mindfulness practice (Roeser et al., 2012).
Teaching is a high-stress profession. Between 1985 and 2012, the percentage of teachers who experienced high stress during most of their week increased from 35 percent to 51 percent (Eva and Thayer, 2017). Perhaps this is why mindfulness has garnered a lot of attention in recent years, particularly in the fields of mental health and education (Jones, Bouffard, and Weissbourd, 2013). Teacher wellness has increasingly become a focus for schools seeking to boost their faculty retention rates. Nationally, schools lose between $1 billion and $2.2 billion in attrition costs each year through teachers moving or leaving the profession (Alliance for Excellent Education, 2014).
Three wellness practices that strengthen social-emotional learning competencies are mindful breathing, doing one daily activity with mindfulness, and recognizing yourself in others, particularly in students. For example, mindful breathing can deepen our self-awareness and self-management skills, and recognizing yourself in others can generate empathy and improve relationship skills.
Practice One: Mindful Breathing
Many times, while we may be physically present, our minds are elsewhere. Conscious awareness of breathing can unite our minds with our bodies to put us in the present moment. Mindful breathing can be done anytime, anywhere, to de-stress, such as while waiting in line at the supermarket or in your car at a stoplight.
Whether practicing at home or in public, here are a few tips to engage in mindfulness:
- Start with five minutes a day and gradually increase your practice by five minutes each week.
- If you can, find a comfortable seated position, with your back straight but at ease. Sit on a comfortable cushion on the floor with your knees below your diaphragm or in a chair with your feet on the floor.
- Place your hand on your abdomen or chest, so you can feel your body expand and contract with each breath. Your mind will wander. That's OK. Mindfulness is about gently bringing yourself back to the present when you realize you are not present. Focusing on the sensation of your breath will help. Be aware of each inhale and exhale.
- Coordinate your breath with a silent affirmation or positive statement. For example, on the inhale, silently say "calm." On the exhale, silently say "peace." Use whatever word or phrase nourishes you.
- Use an app to inform your practice. One I've found helpful is the Insight Timer app, which has guided breathing exercises and a timer with various bells and chimes.
Practice Two: "The Three Ts" Daily Activity
Whether it's tying your shoes, walking the path from the parking lot to your classroom, or eating a meal, choosing one activity to engage in mindfully can nourish your ability to pay attention and see circumstances with fresh eyes.
"The Three Ts" refer to Tea Time, Transitional Time, and Toilet Time. Teachers can choose one of the Ts to engage with mindfully.
- Practice mindfulness during a coffee or tea break in the staff room. Use your breathing to cultivate awareness of the present moment, so you can pay attention to the taste of your drink. Really taste and savor what you are drinking.
- Practice mindfulness during transitional time you spend waiting, such as while in traffic or while you wait for the computer to reboot. If we live to be 70 years old, we will have spent three years of our lives waiting. Imagine if that time had been spent practicing mindfulness.
- Practice mindfulness in the restroom. In our lifetimes, we can spend between one to four years on the toilet—and this is often the only alone time we get during the school day.
Practice Three: Seeing Yourself in Others
In preparation for classes, faculty meetings, and parent-teacher conferences, try to see yourself in your students, your colleagues, or the parents of your students. Put yourself in their shoes. This practice can help you gain perspective and increases compassion, altruism, and social behavior—essential qualities for a thriving school community. For example, if a student acts up, try to first remember what it was like for you when you were an adolescent.
Here are some sentence stems to help you think about how you can really bring this into your teaching practice:
- "Breathing in, I see myself as the parent of _______________ (student's name). Breathing out, I recognize we are a team and we want the best for _______________ (student's name)."
- "Breathing in, I see myself as _______________ (student name). Breathing out, I recognize that ______________ (student name) wants to be seen, heard, and valued."
- "Breathing in, I see myself as ________________ (colleague's name). Breathing out, I recognize that ____________ (colleague's name) wants what's best for their students."
This article is an adapted excerpt from the forthcoming SEL Every Day: Integrating Social and Emotional Learning with Instruction in Secondary Classrooms (W.W. Norton & Company, Inc., 2019).
