The good news about emotional intelligence is that it is virtually all learned, according to Daniel Goleman (1995), author of Emotional Intelligence.
At La Salle Academy, a private school in Providence, Rhode Island, the early morning commotion in the 1,200-student school comes to a complete standstill at the second bell. Students and faculty stop talking in the classrooms or walking in the halls; secretaries stop typing; even the copy machine takes a mandatory breather. The day is starting, as it always does, with a teacher or student leading a morning reflection.
Today, junior Dan B. starts the day on a particularly sad and jarring note:The night before New Year's in Edgewood, the town where I was born and raised, David P. was stabbed. David and I grew up together, played on the same Little League team, and hung out until recently. But just as sad and shocking to me was that Greg, or Pizza—we called him Pizza because he worked at a pizza parlor—who lives across the street from me, was arrested for the murder. Now, David is dead and Pizza probably wishes he was too. They were friends . . .
Dan talks about the feelings and reactions this tragedy prompts within him, including sadness for his friends and gratitude for his own life and situation. He wonders aloud why his friends didn't stop and think before reacting violently to each other. When he's finished, the silence in the school lasts a little longer than usual.
Kevin Regan, a faculty member, coordinates these reflections. They cover a wide range of themes, but each one challenges the members of the school community to think about how they are living their lives and to consider what decisions they are making or avoiding.
Shortly after the reflection is over, Bob Lisi (Coordinator of the Freshman Transition Program) checks to make sure that all 50 ninth graders have arrived in the auditorium to meet their 12th grade Big Brothers/Big Sisters. "Why don't you go with Sharon today, since it looks like your partner is absent?" he encourages one girl standing by herself. Before long, seniors and freshmen are scattered around the large room, talking with one another about school, social life, and the specific topic Bob has recommended to the older students for this particular meeting.
Infusing Emotional Learning
These activities are part of a comprehensive program in social and emotional education that La Salle calls "Success for Life." It includes not only schoolwide initiatives, but also the deliberate integration of social and emotional literacy into the curriculum, across all disciplines. La Salle is the largest private school in Rhode Island; students in this parochial school are from diverse backgrounds—economically, ethnically, racially. (We also have a special program for gifted students and for academically challenged students.)
Just over a year ago, the La Salle faculty agreed to move forward with the planning and work this new program would require. Though they had understandable concerns about adding more material to an already demanding curriculum, they believed that the school had a solid foundation in place for such a program and knew that research showed it would improve students' ability to learn. Most important, they saw that many students needed it. After the entire faculty met in small groups to discuss student needs and program objectives, support for the proposal grew. The school's Academic Council eventually voted to approve Success for Life by a highly unusual 21-0 vote.
What exactly were they agreeing to do? First, they were acknowledging their interest in helping students develop their self-awareness, interpersonal understanding, and decision-making skills. This required the administration and faculty to develop goals and skills for each year of the program and specific initiatives to help meet these objectives. In addition, teachers from every department had to commit to preparing a minimum of three explicit lessons that infused social/emotional literacy into their academic disciplines during the course of the year.
For example, in John Carpenter's social studies class, juniors involved in a simulation activity compare their solutions with those chosen by decision makers in King Philip's War of 1670. What problem-solving steps are important? What role did empathy play in solutions reached? In Tom Kenworthy's sophomore U.S. History class, students discuss how the U.S. Constitution addresses the school's goals for their community.
La Salle's decisions about social and emotional learning have added a new educational dimension to school and classroom life. Throughout the day, students receive messages about the importance of increasing their own self-awareness, self-control, and self-respect, while learning to deepen their appreciation of and ability to get along with others. Their reactions to the program have been noticeably positive. Students participate in many Success for Life activities, from Big Brothers and Sisters to peer mediation to service-learning seminars.
Big Brothers and Sisters
After just a few weeks of high school, freshman Chris A. suffered his first real disappointment. Although he had played soccer throughout junior high, he was cut from the soccer team after just two tryouts, an experience that many adolescents face. Chris spoke with Bob Lisi, but seemed inconsolable; he wanted to leave the school.
Then Bob decided to contact Chris's Big Brother, Luke, a senior who had experienced a similar disappointment when he was a sophomore. Luke was pleased to have an opportunity to share his own experience and to help someone younger put the disappointment in perspective. More important, this particular senior could provide hope: The team that didn't want him as a sophomore elected him co-captain as a senior because of his determination. In the end, Chris decided to stay at the school and keep working toward his goal.
The Big Brother/Big Sister program exists ostensibly for students new to the school. At the same time, however, it helps teach social skills such as listening and empathy to the older students. Now, the seniors have an opportunity to serve as leaders and contributors during the day, within the school environment. They know they are needed. At La Salle, more than 200 seniors reported for the Big Brother/Sister training and orientation program, held a day before school officially opened in August.
Faculty Deans and Discipline
La Salle appoints four deans to work as faculty counselors to students with behavior problems. More impulsive and aggressive students must discuss with their dean alternatives that they could have chosen to settle a conflict. Although the school enforces specific penalties for violations of rules, the deans take the time to examine what led up to the incidents and how the students handled themselves.
A frequent problem among adolescents is "triangular conversations," in which tension arises between two students because a third party reports to one what the other supposedly said or did. In just such an altercation between two sophomore girls over a "stolen" boyfriend, one of the deans used a checklist that asked the girls to consider what events led up to their fight and what alternative actions might have prevented it. This checklist is now being automated into a computerized personal guide that deans can use with students, particularly those with special needs. The Student Conflict Manager/Personal Problem Solving Guide (Psychological Enterprise Inc. 1994) is an example of the type of technology that can help students slow down, think, and become more effective decision makers.
Senior Service Learning
For almost 20 years, La Salle seniors have been required to participate in some form of community service. The weekly seminars students attend provide opportunities for discussion and reinforcement of the skills and themes of the Success for Life program.
In a recent seminar, one student commented on her experience visiting a nursing home:They were playing Bingo, and this lady who was blind wanted to play. It was sad. But I was able to help her as they read out the letters and numbers, and it made me feel good to be there for her.
Such occasions provide students with the most valuable experience of all: feeling needed by others.
Goals of Community Behavior
It's early April 1996, and the principal, student council moderators, and newly elected student representatives are meeting in a large conference room. Their task: to devise "Goals of Community Behavior" that will serve as ideals and guidelines for all students at the school.
Juan, a sophomore, asserts that too many students are concerned about "what others think" and "don't stand up for their rights."
Nicole, an ordinarily quiet junior, states, "The problem is that a lot of kids only think about what they want and don't think about others."
Other opinions reflect attitudes about the disregard for cleanliness in the cafeteria and locker room by certain groups, the lack of respect some upperclass students show to younger kids, and the problem of cliques.
After several meetings, the group finally has a document that they agree can be summarized with three phrases: "Respect for Self, Respect for Others, Respect for Property." When the 1996-97 school year begins, these student-created goals become the centerpiece for the Success for Life program and provide students and faculty with a concrete, easy-to-remember guide for behavior.
The promotion of these goals becomes an educational opportunity from the very first week of school, as student representatives who designed them address their respective classes. "If we don't respect ourselves, why should we expect anyone else to respect us?" challenges Sara, a junior who explains why she believes "Respect for Self" is such an important goal. When they leave the assembly, those who wrote the goals give students a wallet-size "Goals of Community Behavior"; on every classroom door, student art symbolizes the goals and serves as a creative reminder.
Today, a large banner hangs at the school entrance, with three symbols representing the three goals. This banner reflects the combined work of 3 student artists, selected from among the 20 who entered a contest sponsored by the Art Department. The outrage that arose when an arch-rival school stole the banner one evening, displaying it in their stadium during a big football game, was definitely a sign that La Salle students like the banner and what it represents. (The banner has since been returned to its appropriate location, now more securely fastened.)
Other schoolwide components of Success for Life include Peer Mediation, a Faculty Advisor Program for sophomores, a junior/senior Wellness Program, and student-athlete Goal Sheets. These programs, combined with explicit classroom lessons, challenge and encourage students to incorporate more thoughtful social and emotional behavior into their daily routines.
